Waiting

I'm waiting
In this place
Machines grinding
Everything around is a blur

"Hi sir, welcome!"
"Hi," my hesitating tongue spitted out
Looking out the window from this comfy armchair
Grey skies with a chance of rain
But it goes without saying:
No one deserves this kind of pain
Not when I did the best I could to repair
What feels like endless despair

6 months on, still counting
Every day is a drag
Countless pebbles for me to stumble along
Olives are all that I want to offer
But am I getting a piece of coal in return?

Things can be so unpredictable
Life is like giving Calvin a sledgehammer
(I don't know why, but it just feels cool imagining it)
Some things you get, some you don't
Sometimes after weeks of waiting and it appears in the mail
When you finally set your hands on it
You're not sure you really want it in the first place

But I can still look to You and say
It's not thy will or any fault I've committed
That made me deserving of this
Rather, grace, a forgiven spirit and faint hope is what keeps me going
On this narrow road that has no ending

And I'll become
What you became to me, cause
I'm waiting.